Sunday, 21 April 2013

Retrospection

Hello everyone. Today that I have decided to blog, let's talk a little bit about retrospection. Retrospection as per the dictionary means memory for experiences that are past. Yes, this is sort of true. In my case, I have a different retrospection to share with all of you.

Let's begin by taking you back to day one of a student's college life. A very innocent person comes from a distant land and lands up in this place to do his masters. Fine enough, good, enjoyable. Little did he realizes that what a fool he is. Fool because he doesn't understand the meaning of the word masters. Masters does not mean gaining mastery over one thing, it means acquiring mastery over all the aspects of management. Great, its good. Life starts for him in a theater of a class with a million odd students whom he doesn't in any form seem to know. He tries to grasp the teachings of the professors and one mishap by mistake seems to happen, he is caught sleeping in class. Then he is tormented by professors and senors like hell who feel that he is a very bad person, not interested in studies, likes sleeping a lot and is a nuisance for everyone.

Here, I will take a break and tell you what now happened. The student starts feeling bad, feels that the world is bad, and is angry at himself, as well as others. He's angry at himself for not being able to control sleep and angry at others because they are castigating him, little did he realize the true cause behind their concerns. Time passes, he messes up with studies, seniors, batch-mates and himself as well. The result, poor performance seems inevitable.

But, now the student wants good things to happen. He decides that he will change, focus on studies the more when he gets to take up his favorite specialization. He starts, goes up to a certain level but, starts failing again. Thus, bad memories get created. Slowly, everything turns worse and the placement season approaches, where he sees his friends getting placed and himself not qualifying the interviews, he is shattered. Now, he wishes to change everything, and gears up to study and succeed in life at a more rapid pace than what he was doing earlier. He has started studying hard, wish him luck so that he gets placed and in future his retrospection be good and not worse like what it is right now.


Saturday, 20 April 2013

Bad memories



Yup, its a very long time since I last blogged. I know, I am being pompous about it, but I don't have any other way out. Okay, let's start with defining what are bad memories. The dictionary meaning of bad memories is some bad remembrances from the past which haunt you in the present and will tend to haunt you in the time to come. These are things which in any form will create problems in the long run, as they will make you feel guilty, scared, ashamed of yourself, you will dislike it, no matter what may come.

Such is my case. After two long pathetic years of my life I come to the assumption that bad memories are a part of my life. I have made them come by way of my misdeeds or foolishness. I never wanted such bad memories, but the time and situation made things pathetic for me. I still remember the first day of my college when I came into this so called beautiful place, met new people, mingled with them, picked up good and bad habits, which have changed me. I regret the fact that I picked up more bad habits than the good ones. I literally dislike myself for the same. I can't help it. Then, I met this someone. This someone I met through my friends and roommates, who was supposed to be my batch-mate.

Her, I am breaking the line and stating as to why I am mentioning the person as someone. I, actually don't take names and it is not my habit of naming people. So, I won't disclose the name (sorry). This someone was a good friend of mine, but, I feel that this all was my assumption. I, really don't know why I felt that this someone was my good friend. Okay, let this someone be my good friend with whom I was into a good relation of friendship.

But, every good thing doesn't stay good for a long time. This is what happened with me. With the passage of time I felt that I was a fool, because other people thought that I have developed a liking for this someone and am pursuing the so called someone.

I still remember the last time when this someone was very friendly and caring for the last time with me, till one day, some problem cropped up leading to a complete stoppage of mine being a good friend with this someone.

I felt bad, I thought it was my fault, I still don't know, whether it was my fault or someone else created a situation leading to me becoming faulty in front of this so called someone. I stopped talking to this someone, even didn't like to hear anything about this someone. Time drifted apart.

With time I thought everything will become okay, but things worsened. More problems cropped up. I didn't mind, but what else could I do. I was helpless.

Today, when this someone is leaving college and I said sorry to this person with tears in my eyes, the so called person comes up tome and says that because people made a mockery of me, this someone stopped associating with me. Isn't this a very bombastic bad memory for me. Now, I am truly helpless to the hilt.

Well, so my dear readers, you see how some bad memories haunt us till the last day of our lives. Now, the only thing I pray for is my degree, a decent job and a better future bereft of this someone. Is it too much to desire for?



Thursday, 8 November 2012

Seeing through the fog

Its been a long time since I last blogged. In all this while, I was thinking about myself, my life, a little more on my aims and objectives of life, and then I realized something. Well, I realized that my life seemed to be a path full of fog, a fog of just problems and difficulties. Nothing was visible through this fog, it was just plain thick fog. And then,I tried to see through this fog. At this point, you all may think that I'm a fool, a stupid person who is trying to see through this fog, as nothing is visible through the fog. But, I tried to see through this fog and found out that this fog had been created by me. This fog, which comprised of all my problems, were created by me, and the difficulties, which made this path even more hazy, were what I thought to be difficulties, when it wasn't so. Thus, as I started to see through this fog, I could slowly find out the aim of my life, find solutions to all my problems and difficulties, and could make a clear picture of the path, which got hidden in the fog.

          Thus, I feel that life is truly a path covered by fog, which comprises only of our problems and difficulties created by us. All we need is to try and see through this fog to find clarity in our lives, to be able to see the path, which has got hidden due to this fog, to be able to determine the aim of our lives, the goals and objectives that we had set and also achieve them.

          Therefore, what I want to say is that our life is full of problems and difficulties, which stop us from moving ahead, but we should try to forget them and move on with life, so that we can understand the true purpose of our lives, achieve all the goals and objectives set by us and keep moving on with our lives. Thus, in this way, we will be able to lead a better life, full of happiness, where there is no space for any problems or difficulties.


Thursday, 17 May 2012

What is Life?

I've always wondered as to what exactly is life? We live, we laugh, see others, cry when sad, keep growing day by day, sleep, wake up, forget, see people dying in front of us, and many other strange things which seem to happen in front of us. Is this what we call life? No, my views differ. Many years of research went into this field of study, yet what we get in return is strange. We still are clueless and are quite confused. Therefore, I am very tempted to ask my dear readers and critics, "What exactly is LIFE?" Confused, no answers, good show. Really a good show big time!

          This is quite natural. No wonders. Life is but the energy within us, a very deep, dark, unknown, unfathomable core where lies a light which has the immense potential of destroying all the darkness present in the human hearts. If this light by any means fades away, Partially or maybe fully, I'll say that maybe we are ill,. On the other hand, if it gets extinguished, then maybe I will be very sorry to say that we, or for that matter, me, you or anyone in this world is but dead and nothing else.

          Still confusing, isn't it? Okay, lets say,we take a kerosene lamp, that was used in the very good old days, and maybe are still being used in homes today, the burning fire always is a representation of life, the wick which is a complete representation of the person who burns and transforms from bad to good, from an illiterate to a scholar, from an animal to a social being, likewise, the bottle is a very true representation of the god gifted life form and the kerosene or fuel, a complete and a very true representation of our lifespan. Now, I can hope, that maybe I'm somewhat clear to all of us as to what basically life is. On fathoming deep into this topic through my work, on analyzing my way of living and mixing about with others and their anticipated or real reactions, and furthermore, through deep meditation sessions, I came out with my own findings that life is more like the lamp as I had said earlier, or furthermore, a diya, where the flame tends to represent the energetic but undisturbed light or fire which is life, the oil being the lifespan and the diya, the life form. The only thing that makes the diya, a more acceptable form of life as compared to the earlier mentioned kerosene lamp, is that a diya or a person faces serious windstorms which mainly represent bad values, selfishness, disobedience, and all the odds, including death, which it fights all its life in order to keep the flame burning even stronger or living a bright yet more shining life, or having a life as bright and as full of love as possible, but when the same person succumbs to the gruesome odds and leaves fighting for any reason, putting down his weapons signifying defeat, or for that reason can't fight anymore, signifying the finish or lack of oil, representing the fact that his life has come to an end, the so called life or the flame for that matter distinguishes and the person is presumably accepted as to be dead, or the diya representing life is said to have come to an end.

          Deep revelation, isn't it. Must have been unfathomable to all of you. It should be, or else we are not humans. But, such deep thoughts have come into me from an unknown and undiscovered depth in my heart, quite miserably unfathomable as it may be but belongs from a glowing bright red hot corner filled with the fire of zeal and conscience, along with energy and knowledge acquired through meditation in my heart and soul. Conscience is but what I feel to be a kind of motivation deriving logically from ethical or moral principles that govern my thoughts and actions throughout.

          Strange, it may sound but, for my readers, if they want to ignore the above written passage, I have a differentway of defining what is life. Here it goes. Take a look.


What is Life?

Life is a GIFT……….. ACCEPT it.
Life is an OPPORTUNITY……. TAKE it.
Life is an ADVENTURE…… BRAVE it.
Life is a GOAL…………… ACHIEVE it.
Life is a PROMISE……… FULFILL it.
Life is a CHALLENGE……… MEET it.
Life is a SONG………… SING it.
Life is a STRUGGLE………… FIGHT it.
Life is a GAME………… PLAY it.
Life is a MYSTERY……… UNFOLD it.
Life is a LOVE  STORY……… TELL it.
Life is a DUTY………… PERFORM it.
Life is a PUZZLE……… SOLVE it.
Life is a JOURNEY……… ENJOY it.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Of deception regarding perfection and my take on it . . . .

Well, I've always kept thinking and my deep thoughts have led me to conclude one thing that I'm always full of deception just because of the simple fact that I think I'm 100 per cent perfect when I still am not one myself. I'm not so sure about my perfection but maybe my peers or my seniors still have the authority to decide on the level of perfection I possess. Say, for instance, I am considering my parents and teachers as well as my friends who are the best judges when it comes to deciding my level of perfection. They study my behavior, gestures and other aspects of my character that determine the level of perfection I possess. Their suggestions and continuous criticisms have made me what I am today. I feel that their sense of judgement can play a very important role in helping me decide the level of perfection I possess because I think if it was not for their judgements, I would have still had tend to think that I am totally perfect when I'm still not. Now coming to my viewpoint which is that others only have the right to decide the level of perfection in you or me or for that matter anyone in this world which may or may not hold good. This concept of mine is true and has forcefully made me think that maybe comparing myself with the others or building up on the lines of my friends' suggestions and improving myself is what helped me achieve the amount of perfection I possess today and is appropriately true and appears to hold good for me as well a s for others. This is what makes me a complete holistic person, though many will refute to this notion, but the fact of the matter is that this is what happens with me. Now, suppose, I consider this same situation stated above by me that my feeling of deception comes out of others criticisms and may make me feel sad. It may also pain me, thus, changing my inner self as well, thus changing me, as the people out there are eager to see change in me and this concept works on them also. People ignoring this concept or arrogantly defying this rule will never be able to overcome the deception faced by them and may continue to keep suffering because of their so called arrogance.

Take criticisms positively and move on, don't feel deceived as you have the potential of changing yourself as well as  the whole world....

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Why is life so weird and pathetic?

For the past few days, I was thinking why is life so strange, why is it so pathetic and thus, came a strange realization. I realized that yes life is strange, it always turns pathetic the least when you want it not to be. It was just last year when I joined IBA. Strangely, it was an awesome time I had. All but fun and enjoyment. New friend and a nice environment and on top of that a good number of seniors who were like a family for us. I really got used to being with my friends, but more that that seniors. But now, as they are leaving us the element of fun seems to have been curtailed. The hostel has turned silent. I'm not going to hear their voices in our hostel again. The liveliness, the fun and the good times we had with them just vanishes. This silence is really hurting. I feel sad and lonely again, though I'm having my friends here. They always keep telling me that this is life, it always has been and get used to it, but still my heart fails to accept the fact this is how life is meant to be. I keep smiling in front of others but from the inside, I'm crying. 

     My mind again reels back to my graduation days when I, I mean we friends seriously had fun and frolic and a non-ending life of fun which sadly came to an end on our farewell night. Now also, when I meet those friends on facebook, I start talking about those good old happy and memorable days we had and at the back of my mind I'm compelled to think that the complexities of life have increased. I feel that life is becoming more challenging day by day. I am trying to move on  and not keep crying as to why this all had to happen. I'm sad,but strangely happy after learning the fact that a year has passed by and I've grown up and become more emotionally intelligent and strong at heart and am trying to cope up with life and am hoping to overcome all my sadness and to try and live my life and get used to this pathetic life. I still ask the same question to myself everyday as to why life is so pathetic but find no specific answers and sadly tend to move on with my life......